Seriously, what’s the deal with that?
I know there’s so much you want to do with your life. I also know there’s a lot of crap you’d rather not be doing. So the question is why aren’t you living the life you really want to live?
You know the life that gets you so excited; the life that you imagine when you’re lying on a sun lounger somewhere or maybe when you’re going from one amazing place to another with nothing but a backpack?
OK, I know I’m making it sound simple, like you can just pack up the job you hate today and start living the life of your dreams right now.
As if right?
Why so scared?
Last night I attended a talk called How to Build a Business You Can Travel the World With by John P Morgan. It was great and I left feeling inspired however I also left feeling a little frustrated with myself. It dawned on me that the only reason I’m not living the life of my dreams – running a business supporting women who are unhappy in their job, while having the freedom to travel when I want – is basically because I’m chicken.
Yep. There I said it!
It’s no secret that I want a life that gives me the freedom to travel and last night I left the talk seriously contemplating what was stopping me. If I want it so badly, why am I not living that life today? I pretty much have the setup, so what’s the issue?
The truth is I’m scared – and of so many things!
What if it doesn’t work out? What if it does? What if I run out of money? What if I get attacked? What if I get robbed? What if I get lonely? And the list goes on…
Do you make decisions based on fear?
John P Morgan said something profound (actually he said quite a few profound things) that really hit home. He said that most of us make decisions based on fear and I thought OMG, that’s so true!
When faced with significant decisions, what does the logical part of your brain do? Go into overdrive about all the negative things that could happen, right? You think about everything you might miss out on and what people will say or think if you go against the status quo or if things don’t work out.
“Where fear is, happiness is not.” ~ Seneca
A lady in the audience said she really wanted to go travelling again but felt that she should build a base somewhere. When asked a few more questions as to why she felt she should build a base somewhere when she actually wanted to travel, it turned out that she was scared of being left behind; scared of not buying a house or having a family.
John’s response was that if we live from our hearts and make decisions from a place of love with what matters to us right now, we can’t get it wrong, because deep down, it was what we wanted at the time.
Of course what you want when you’re in your twenties will probably be different to what you want when you’re in your thirties, but who knows, and that’s the point. Who knows?!
None of us have a manual on living the perfect life or a magic crystal ball that tells us how to live or how things will turn out, yet we make decisions based on what could happen in the future.
Now I’m not for one second saying to throw all caution to the wind, quit your job and see what happens next. Absolutely not. What I’m encouraging you to do is to consider making choices in the present, here and now. So if you hate your job, rather than thinking I can’t quit because it means I might not be able to get a mortgage in the future. Flip it on it’s head and ask yourself:
How can I do something meaningful, that I will enjoy and still be able to afford a mortgage in the future?
(If we were having a coaching conversation, I would go further and ask why it is important for you to be able to afford a mortgage in the future to see if that is actually something you want, or something thing you feel you should have at some point.)
What could be possible if you made decisions from a place of love, possibility and positivity?
What would you do differently if you made a choice based on all the wonderful outcomes that are possible?
Seriously, just stop and think about it for a minute…
What do you really want out of life?
If I was your fairy godmother and I could wave a magic wand, how would you want me to transform your life?
Once you have an answer to those questions, ask yourself what’s stopping you from having that life right now?
What are you waiting for?
Is being realistic overrated?
Another lady in the audience said that she was desperate to leave her job. John simply asked her what was stopping her from quitting tomorrow.
I know it might sounds idealist and real life doesn’t work that way, but that was his point. Why do we insist on being realistic?
Granted it might not be realistic for her to quit her job tomorrow, but it is realistic for her to make the decision today and then put steps in place to make it happen and then take action each day to start creating a career and life she loves.
“The policy of being too cautious is the greatest risk of all.” ~ Jawaharlal Nehru
John’s talk was a slap in the face for me. It made me realise that even though I’ve left the corporate 9-5 and I’ve designed my life in a way that will take me closer to my dream life, I am still being cautious. I have no desire to go backpacking around the world, but I do want to see and experience as much of it as possible. So what is stopping me?
If I’m honest I’m being cautious about my finances. Being self-employed means it’s important to have “rainy day” money in the bank. Which is fine, and very sensible. However that means I need to raise my game. I need to find a way to generate the income I want to live the life I want. I have created the flexibility around my time, now it’s time to step things up and create flexibility around my finances.
So back to the original question:
Why are you so scared to live your life?
Are you concerned about your finances?
Are you worried about what people will say?
Or is it something else?
“Life is too short and too damn important to be unhappy.” ~ Leanne Lindsey
(I’m claiming this as I’m not aware of anyone “officially” saying it anywhere. If I’m wrong, apologies.)
I say this all the time because I really believe it. We could be dead tomorrow and what would have been the point? If this is really it, if there is no heaven and no life after death, will you have lived your best life?
Invest the time to figure out what is keeping you living this “safe”, unfulfilled life because once you know what it is, you can start taking actions to transform things.
Over to You
– What would your fairy godmother wish be?
– What’s stopping you from taking actions to create a career and life you love?
Until next time,
Be fearless, be authentic, be unapologetic!
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